For those of us who do not strictly adhere to the traditional gender binary and cross over other side now and then (or much more) one thing is that we tend to only wear women’s clothing and accessories when we are being women, which is a shame really as it’s not like she just vanishes when we take the dress off. We do of course have underdressing such as wearing panties but it means we keep our feminine side hidden and that is a real shame. So today I thought I would talk about a few feminine items that you can wear reasonably judgement free and that add a woman’s touch to your masculine fashion. Oh and fun fact most of these are actually considered acceptable and even stylish. Just maybe not all on the first day.
While bracelets are typically associated with women it is acceptable and in recent years has even become quite fashionable for straight men to wear bracelets. I have been wearing a bracelet for months on a daily basis and have only received compliments for doing so. You have to choose the right bracelet though. A thin chained silver bracelet with a diamond on it may be a bit more unusual than a leather bracelet so choose wisely. I have enjoyed wearing a bracelet as it is an outward sign of my femininity that is seen as totally normal and masculine. And you have an all day reminder of your femininity on your wrist.
So how do you choose a bracelet? Well men’s bracelets tend not to be thin delicate items, they tend to have a bit of heft to them but not too much as it’s all about balance. I wear bracelets made of natural materials, such as wood or leather, they are very manly with the natural vibe but also since they are not flashy and don’t draw as much attention. Though I did pick up a chainmaille bracelet this last weekend that I do adore and is quite flashy but it’s pretty hard to get much more manly than medieval armour on your wrist.
If you are wondering where to buy such items, honestly a local craft sale is likely your best bet for selection and affordability. There is likely to be someone in your area who is making something that works and I can assure you they won’t likely be looking at you weird as you’re not the first guy to buy a bracelet form them. And it supports a local person
While women tend to wear necklaces over the shirt men wear them under the shirt, so basically wear whatever. Though it is more expected that a necklace on a man will have more meaning than fashion, but the meaning here is you embracing the feminine or maybe something else. Again men’s necklace chains tend to be a bit heavier than women’s but the pendant on them is smaller. I would go a little bigger on the pendant than is typical for men but not overly large, and don’t hang it overly low. It is under your shirt but once you get used to wearing one you may forget you have it on when you go to the gym and you don’t need to have a pink sparkle ball necklace on.
It is not uncommon for men to wear rings aside from their wedding ring, think signet ring or here in Canada the iron ring an engineer wears. Men’s fashion rings tend to be medium in size, not to thin and unless it has a big symbol on it not too large. Silver, titanium, steel, or wood are all normal rings for men to wear aside from a wedding band. You can wear gold but a simple gold ring is more associated with a wedding ring unless it has a symbol on it.
As for sizing, you just measure around your figure ideally in millimetres and convert it up. Women’s and men’s ring sizes are the same so if your looking online and see a women’s ring you like it is easy to get the measurement.
A satchel or messenger bag
While a purse is definitely a women’s item shoulder bags for men have become mainstream in recent years as we have to carry more stuff such as tablets, larger phones, and other items that take space. Leather or heavy fabric is the way to go on this one. And sizing is important as if it gets to small it enters purse territory and too large is just not something you would want to carry all of the time. If you can fit your coffee cup, glasses, keys, wallet, tablet, and phone in it with some, not too much, room to spare you’re in the right area. So these are manly, after all Indiana Jones had a satchel, but if you want to make it a bit more feminine make sure you put your wallet, keys, phone, and everything else into it and not your pockets.
Now that you have a purse, I mean satchel, you can move away from that thin man’s folding wallet to a larger more feminine wallet. I picked up a new heavy leather wallet this year from local maker which is a long bifold style. It holds cash and 5 cards and is designed to fit in the breast pocket of your suit jacket or coat. Since it doesn’t fit immensely well in the pockets of you pants that means in your satchel it goes. And that said keeping your wallet, especially and out of control fat one, shouldn’t be in your back pocket as it’s not safe, makes your ass lumpy, and sitting on a thick wallet can throw your back out if something terrible. A longer and thinner wallet that goes in the breast pocket of your suit or jacket is way more stylish and functional. You can look suave taking it out if your breast pocket or chic taking it from your bag.
It’s winter where I am and lips get dry so there is nothing weird about lip balm. But if you are getting some you might as well get the cherry or cola flavoured ones. Take it out of the satchel and protect your lips. For an extra level you can get tinted ones now that have a slight hint of colour in them that people are unlikely to notice but you know it is there
It’s pretty darn cold where I am so sandals are out at this time of year which means I can paint my toe nails with what ever colour I feel. It’s pretty nice to pull my socks on over my red toe nails and people aren’t going to see it. But what about fingers? Well get a clear coat nail polish and do them up and while people aren’t going to notice it you’ll know and be able to take a little joy as your slightly shinny nails dance across the keyboard.
More Permanent: Earrings
Up to this point I have been dealing with things that are easily swapped out at a moments notice. Now I get into more permanent feminine things men can have and no one take notice.
This is a big one isn’t it, going out and getting two little metal studs in your ears. Gasp the horror! Though in reality men having both ears pierced is pretty common today and doesn’t hold any of the sexuality indicators it used to have (One ear was straight, the other gay, both bi or something I don’t know it was the 90’s). I got my ears pierced two years ago in part because it is a permanent feminine thing I can have done and clip ons suck. I have only received compliments on them if anyone notices.
Men’s earrings tend to be smaller studs or perhaps some simple hoops. I have some tiny copper studs on silver posts that blend in and people rarely seem to notice. And then when I get home the studs out and the longer dangle earrings go in, maybe some large silver hoops. It instantly expands your wardrobe and your earring choices are insane. Now if I get a second hole that may raise a few questions, I’ll let you know when I get around to it.
If you are getting your ears pierced find a local piercing or tattoo shop, not one of those places in a mall with a plastic gun. Piercers train in mentorship system to do the job while the 18 year old at the mall with a gun gets 10 minutes of training. That and the needle makes the hole differently and gives you a better result. I can also assure you they will not look at you weird at the tattoo shop, after all the morning appointment may have been a much more intimate job. It will be about 6 weeks before you can swap the earrings out but some studs are not likely to draw that much attention. After that you can move to smaller studs and a few months after that you can leave the earrings out for certain events and people are unlikely to notice such small holes on your ears unless they are looking for them.
That was my quick list of feminine things that a man can pull off without anyone taking much notice or caring about. While these let you express or explore a few things feminine you are also able to add a bit of flair to your male wardrobe, as men’s fashion tends to be a bit lower on flair than women’s. So really it is a no loose situation, you can be a stylish man while also getting your feminine flair.
Let me know if you have any thoughts on this