With the holidays and some time off I’m am coming up to about a month of living as a woman 90% of the time. And I have really enjoyed it, I have been able to explore and learn about a whole other part of myself like I haven’t been able to before. This has been on the whole a fantastic experience and I no longer even feel a bit out of place just wearing women’s clothing for a week straight, though being out and about is still a bit of challenge. A few weeks back I wrote a post about What if I Never go Back where I finally came to conclusion that if I just never go back to being a man I think I would be fine with it. Now I am coming to a point where I am going to need to go back and I don’t know how I feel about it. Here is what I like about living as a woman.
I like the clothes, pretty much everything about them actually. The look the feel and most of all the variety. Men’s clothing is so much more limited in terms of look and ones ability to change up their look on the day. Shirt options for office, golf shirt, short sleeve dress shirt, long sleeve dress shirt, and that’s about it. Women’s clothing on the other hand is way more varied and interesting.
I like having breasts, no really. I have been wearing them pretty much all of the time and am now to the point where not having them on is the weird feeling. I like the shape they give my chest and the way they feel.
I love makeup, I have fallen in love with putting on makeup in the last few months. I like the way it makes me look of course. But it is also love the process of putting it on, it is almost meditative in some ways. The only part I’m not loving is shaving my face again.
I am really enjoying the big earrings, bracelets, and necklaces. Sure I wear these items fairly often out and about anyways but having them proudly on display, especially the earrings is so freeing. Not really ready to give it up.
I like having a purse. I seriously do enjoy having a purse. It’s super handy to have a bag to carry all of my stuff in. My phone wallet and keys don’t always go in but my glasses, lip balm, and other assorted items go in and it’s super handy.
Most of all I like the way I feel. Since I accepted my bigender nature I have been working out regularly and while I have not lost as much weight as I would like I am trimming up a fair amount and clothes that were tight have loosened up. I enjoy being happier with myself and the life I am living. I look forward to the next day more than I used to. I am eating better, I am sleeping better, and I am just happier.
So I’m not opposed to being a man, I enjoy being a man, and I am likely in a honeymoon phase of some sort but as I get closer to having to go back into the world where I can’t be her all of the time I am feeling apprehensive about it. Will it be weird? Should I ease myself back into being who I have been for the last three and a half decades? The problem is that in current society it is still expected that we will be either man or woman all of the time, and switching back and forth is too hard for people to deal with. If I was trans then people would in some ways be more accepting of that. I am not looking forward to needing to be a man as much I will need to be but I am also not a woman all of the time. I guess I will see.