So I finally went for it and came out as bigendered. First to a few friends. And then family. And then other friends. And then last night a Facebook post. So Logan Jesse “Jessie” Gamble is now out to the world as a bigendered person. And it feels really good, great even. And yet almost a non-issue
So 9 days ago I wrote a post about if I should come out and after that I just started coming out to people. My general method was contact them on Facebook messenger and then sent them 6 good photos of me and an explanation along the lines of
“So I have accepted and embraced being bigendered. I am am a man and a woman. I have been much happier and healthier since embracing this. I my not changing my name, I use Jessie as a pen name and it is the traditional feminine spelling of my middle name Jesse. I don’t really care about pronouns, he, she, or they all work.”
The general responses were “You look good”, “That’s great”, “Glad you’re Happy”, “So proud of you for doing this”, and “You have to live your life to be happy”. And how does the spouse feel about it, she has always known. And then there are the “Great will get together and do makeup”, “Let’s go shopping”, and “Oh, you’ll love have having breasts”. And people are more than willing to get together and talk. Two friends came over and the whole me as a woman didn’t come up for an hour and a half. I have reconnected with people I haven’t talked to in years and my social life is exploding. Only a few people have asked when I’m starting HRT, a couple if I am interested in men, and one I had a great discussion about breast implants.
As for family the story is a little different. I have three siblings, so I started a chat with two of them. A very positive experience came from it as they were both supportive and happy for me. we had a great talk. Then the other sibling who has had a lifelong struggle with gender themselves along with many other mental health issues. I left that one for a few days as simply put they are a point of stress for me as I am only one of two family members in the city and I deal with a lot. But they were obviously supportive and then the conversation went long. Mind you my crossdressing had been caught and I was punished for it earlier in my life so not a massive surprise.
My parents is a little different story. They divorced when I was in my 20’s and live in two different parts of the country. My dad is in the city here and came down on me really hard when I was caught with women’s clothes as teenager. This time his response was how good I looked and invited me over to talk. So I went over that evening and we talked for awhile. He asked if I change my personality when I’m dressed, I said no. He said I had lost weight. And now it gets into the slightly more bitter part of the story for me, after the divorce my dad started presenting more openly as crossdressing. This has been hard for me as he did come down on me hard for doing the same thing, I know why he did it but he never apologised so it’s hard. A few years ago he fell off of a ladder adjusting his Christmas lights and had just had a full makeover done, so I saw him in the ER with full makeup. It seems since that day he has given up crossdressing but he said it was fun. As I was leaving he gave me a set of silicone breast forms, my size oddly I suppose as an apology.
My mom was a different story. I had sent her the same text earlier in day and had not heard back. I called and left a voice mail and she called em back late. I asked if she had got the photos and she said no, then was asking if it was exciting news. I emailed them to here with the text. She said she loved me but needed time to process. So we will see.
As for the spouses family. I started a chat with the two sisters and explained, then it was a balance of google translate since they are all francophones that while speak English very well french is easier. Well the two sisters are working through it well enough. It is a bit of a shock but mostly they want to know that she is happy. Her parents were a bit more a of mixed bag. They are also taking time to process it but I have faith it will work out.
So overall it has been a very positive experience and I am much more comfortable and confident and now embracing my womanhood. So should you come out? Instead of looking for a reason to come out ask why you shouldn’t. It isn’t ten years ago people are pretty good.