So you have sat down and muddled your way to the point where you have decided you are a Crossdresser. First congratulations and welcome, the road ahead isn’t always easy but it can be very rewarding. But you feel a little confused and have questions so let’s deal with them.
Does this mean I’m gay?
Nope just means you like to wear women’s clothing and perhaps to emulate women. Vast majority of crossdresser identify as heterosexual.
Am I transgendered?
Maybe as technically crossdressing is across gendering but the two are separated. Though my handy definition is if you wish to live and be identified as a woman your transgendered but if you are primarily a man then you’re a crossdresser.
You say you’re Bigender, what does that mean?
So Bigender means I identify as two genders, this can be anything from the spectrum but for me I am a man and a woman, but still male.
But I sometimes fantasize about being a woman and having sex with a man, I must be gay and transsexual.
First I’m reasonably sure every man has wondered what it would be like on the other side. Second you have a desire to emulate women it only seems natural to imagine all aspects of womanhood and to imagine yourself in those situations. Give me chance to switch for a weekend I sure as hell would though I would likely want my penis back at the end.
So what clothes do I need to be a crossdresser?
Technically you don’t need any but I would likely designate this as non-practising crossdresser. The answer though is whatever you want. Panties, Bras, Skirts, Blouses, Dresses, purses, shoes, garter belts, corsets or whatever suits your fancy. If all you want is a bra to wear under your t-shirt to give you that feminine chest and that’s it all the power to you.
Do I need a femme name?
Nope, I use my real name in person though online I use my middle name as it is male and female and is more of a pen name then a femme name. I tried having a femme name and gave up. But if you want one then go for it.
Do I need make-up?
Again no, it can be handy and fun but not a requirement. I didn’t use much for years and now I’m all in.
Do I need to tell anyone?
If you have a significant other you should tell them as this is lifestyle that will affect your relationship. Aside from that no but I do suggest telling someone. These emotions bottled up can be dangerous, I suggest a female friend who may be able to help you shop but whomever you feel comfortable with.
How do I tell my girlfriend?
Well first decide if she is someone you’d like to be with, second gauge her feelings on LGBT, third ask yourself if she will tell all your friends. After that there is only one way “Honey I like to wear women’s clothing”.
What about all these pronouns? Who is a he and who is a she?
In the CD, TV, TG and TS community it is expected that you will refer to someone as the gender they are presenting. So a man presenting as a woman is typically a she. That said I’m a man in a dress you can still refer to me as he I won’t take offence, she just isn’t me and as such I prefer he.
Whenever I dress do I need to go all out with underwear, skirts makeup and all that?
No, wear what you want. I rarely go all out as it’s a lot of work and is not required for me to get that feminine feeling.
So I need to shave everything?
You don’t need to shave a thing, seriously nothing though it does feel feminine and I suggest trying shaving your legs but it is not a requirement. I have shaved body hair and a beard go figure.
How do I get cured?
First there is nothing to be cured from. Second if you choose to view it as a disorder then I would equate it with an addiction as with smoking even if you quit that temptation will always be there.
Where do I find fake breasts and body shapers?
Online specialty stores, just look up “crossdressing clothing” and it’ll show up.
Why can’t I just be normal guy?
‘Normal’ is just a social construct that defines the social and cultural expectations of our society. No one is normal we all have our socially unacceptable sides yours just happens to be women’s clothing.